You’re Jon Huntsman. You like to play the keyboard and talk about young people things, like rock music. You once called called Mitt Romney a “perfectly lubricated weather vane”—a pretty good line—and said he was running for “the Waffle House” instead of the White House. You cut an advertisement juxtaposing your toughest rival with a flip-flopping monkey. You said he represented everything that’s wrong with America.